ADHD and Procrastination
I found myself yet again having trouble getting started with writing my blog post for this week. Even though I have this really awesome idea that I’m super interested in and looking forward to sharing with you, I found myself too relaxed early in the week with an impaired sense of “oh-I-have-plenty-of-time” for that. Plus, I knew the boys would be out on a camping trip this weekend, so if I didn’t have it wrapped up by Friday, I’d have all weekend to write away. Then I kept getting sidetracked by a million other ideas tangent to my idea and other things I also want to do and write about. In the end, ADHD and procrastination managed to consume my week.
Threat of Imminent Hanging
At that point, I was still hanging on to the hope of “last-minute propulsion” toward the deadline. The threat of the imminent hanging would be my saving grace. Yes, the threat of negative consequence can actually get those creative juices flowing and help us focus to complete a task — but at what cost? How much anxiety and stress come along for the ride? Plus, it’s a gamble. Sometimes it works. Other times you work yourself into paralysis by overwhelm. A painful sense of pressure and feeling frozen. Then comes more anxiety and feel of failure. Blech.
Paralysis by Overwhelm
Yesterday, while feeling said paralysis and anxiety, I just decided I didn’t want to feel this way. I talked to Indy for a few minutes on the phone about my little dilemma … and he encouraged me and supported me in my desire to let myself off the hook (Three cheers for an awesome husband!!!). So, I just flat-out decided for the first time since I’ve started the blog (3.5 months) I was just going to be a no-show for today’s post. I wasn’t going to beat myself up. No one out there was really going to come and check to see if I’d gotten my Sunday post up on time or not. I’m not really letting everyone down … regardless of what my sense of failure was telling me. I was just going to call-in with a self-care time-out. And it was such relief. I got the whole second half of Saturday to just relax and do as I pleased.
Even though ADHD and procrastination go hand in hand, here I am all bushy-tailed and bright-eyed this morning writing to you!! And liking it!! And not feeling all that damned pressure!! Yes! Four cheers for stepping back and taking a breath. The fact that I’ve kept up with the blog religiously since it’s start is an accomplishment in and of itself. I should be celebrating that fact instead of beating myself up for not doing it better or a certain way or fast enough. I need to not only accept what comes with ADHD but also accept that keeping this blog up for this long is a success in and of itself. That’s a win. I shouldn’t trivialize that. Small wins are important. And technically since I’m here writing this, and you are reading this … I haven’t actually skipped a post after all!
Maybe I just need to reconsider exactly how I go about the blog, refine my process, get a better system down, but most importantly, I need to stop being so hard on myself. Ah, the eternal challenge, right?!